A Collection of Odd Persons

August 30, 2005

Deep down inside (somewhere in my liver perhaps), I always wanted to be a street performer. Or a priest. Travelling from town to town with nothing more than five jugging balls and a bag of tricks.

But I first need to develop some tricks which I can put in a bag. Like the buskers, who came to Waterloo and stopped the traffic on the main streets for four straight days last week. Everyone stopped and stared at these incredibly flexible fucks as they lit shit on fire. I stared at them too, envious of their double joints and iron bras of doom.

While watching them perform I decided I need to get a smashing sense of humour, just like the tattooed man on the skateboard. He was so foul, so great, he made little boys cry. “I’m your real daddy,” he yelled at the toddlers gathered on the sidewalks. “And your mouth is so big I bet you could eat a banana sideways.”

Putting toddlers in their place is always fun.

Posted by Tudor at 10:14 PM in Various Positions | TrackBack

Comments

I adore buskers. And writing. At least you have that talent..
Cheers!

Posted by: Jackie on August 30, 2005 at 10:31 PM

before you get an iron bra, you need to get breasts

great picture of the violinist by the way

Posted by: karen on August 30, 2005 at 10:32 PM

I want an iron bra. I have breasts. Is that ok? I’m sick of my tits catching fire when I spit flames.

Posted by: Laura on August 31, 2005 at 03:25 PM

I would think that cast iron would get a little hot in the summer-time… especially if worn in the sun. But it wouldn’t be terribly difficult to get made for yourself if you really wanted to(: Just get Tudor to make casts of your breasts (now *that’s* a project), and then make a lost-wax mould. You could even make them anatomically correct if you wanted(: Or you could have pretty designs like hers… Hey, you could even line them with fur! Barbarian fantasy wench!;P

Posted by: spindriftdancer on August 31, 2005 at 08:51 PM

I think there is still a place in my town (Long Beach, CA) that sells iron bras, chain mail, and all other sorts of S & M paraphernalia. It’s called “The Crypt” and it is right next to this gay bar, called, “The Mine-Shaft”. Go figure.

Tudor, I could totally see you as a street performer! I don’t think your parents would be too happy though!

Posted by: jules on August 31, 2005 at 10:42 PM

Tudor… why does it not surprise me that it would appeal to you?(:

Oh, btw, if you want a chainmail bra I know someone who makes it in Stratford.
http://www.chainmailguy.com/

Posted by: spindriftdancer on September 01, 2005 at 09:51 PM

wow — thanks for that link. I can get to Stratford on my bike, but getting back home with chain mail on might be a bit of a drag (and somewhat pricy too). heheh.

Oh, and the Mine-Shaft is not too bad of a name for such a joint. Thank God it’s not named the Manhole.

Posted by: Tudor on September 01, 2005 at 11:16 PM

That chain-mail getting caught in the bicycle chain would definitely be a drag!

The Manhole! BWA-HA-HA!!!

There was a gay bar in West Hollywood called “The Ramrod”- another good ‘un!

Posted by: jules on September 03, 2005 at 12:05 AM